i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
