wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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