My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude