Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
