So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
