Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
