You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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