used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My vagina just recognized that song.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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