planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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