Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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