I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize