Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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