i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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