I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
