I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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