I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
