Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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