I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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