it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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