He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
