Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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