It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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