I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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