I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
