She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
