Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
