please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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