just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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