last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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