i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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