you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
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I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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