Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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