How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
