yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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