Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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