Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
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ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
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My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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