Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
