You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize