If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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