I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
BRING THE BAGELS
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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