Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
