What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
