i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
try to milk me bitch
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
