Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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