i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize