Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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