Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Even my vagina gasped.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
