The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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