Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You are a genius and a whore.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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