i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
