this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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