The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Randomize
