Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
