I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
