i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
