4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
