This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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