I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
