his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
