her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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