so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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