the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
