whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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