were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
