i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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