blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
