Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
