so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
