you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize