I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
